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Posted Stardate 15-622.1
by Blop-Fissell
Greetings, Earth-things. Myself named Blop-Fissell also writing afar the world home Blivee.
Being happy I form blog you understand in reading. I hope to wish visiting Earth planet soon into time. Unfortunately space saucer making unfinished yet. Will explain probing in Earth-thing via sphincter for later post blogging and etc.
PS. Sorry for weakness writtened English translation between native language called dialect Flibbelese confusing me of yours mostly.
Posted Stardate 15-622.2
by Flip-Fissell
Let me apologize for the rather loopy jottings of my kid brother, the Blop-Fissell of the previous post. The lad's understanding of English, as well as just about anything else on your planet, is fairly in the million monkeys authoring sonnets vein, if you know what I mean.
While he's precocious as a ten year-old Mozart tearing off a sinfonietta by naptime, his genius wouldn't muster a mention below the fold of Die Kindergarten Zeitung Gazetteer, if such a thing existed. To wit, he's building an intergalactic spaceship in the back yard out of popcicle sticks and used sewing machine parts to shoot over to Earth some weekend for a bit of goggling at various Earthside points of interest. Advanced as our technology for iced treats and spiffing up the odd suit and mufti is, I frankly don't think it's up to the journey.
Still, he's as curious as a cat in a shopping bag factory and has taken to your planet like mud on a pig, if that's the expression I want. Since founding a blog of his own to talk to Earthers he's been in seventh heaven. Not objecting to paradise in whatever form myself, I imagine the previous six heavens would just as nicely fit the bill.
p.s. Don't bother your bowels about the probe comment. That's not something that Bliveens go in for, if you'll pardon the expression. Such a notion sounds more like an area of interest of those fools on planet Mu.
Posted Stardate 15-622.3
BY MADDASSAHADDER THE TERRIFYING OF MU
FOOLS? OUR CROP CIRCLES AND PROBES WILL BURY YOU! HA! LONG LIVE MU!!!
Posted Stardate 15-622.4
by Flip-Fissell
It would appear our little intergalactic musings have been hacked by some high mucky-muck of Mu, one Maddassahadder The Terrifying as he calls himself. Notice the lowbrow rhetorical stylings, all capital letters and exclamation points. The old victory through volume argumentive technique, as in, "You're wrong and I'M RIGHT!!!" The more exclamation points used the righter it is. No doubt he also subscribes to the I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I school of debate.
Then again, maybe his caps lock got stuck. Whether from drooling on the keyboard, slime from his tentacle-like apendages, or some other unknown and equally disgusting only-on-Mu cause I can't say. Any race of beings habitually mucking about your digestive organs strike me as rather an unsanitary bunch. What they hope to learn through these intra-colonic explorations, apart from what the unfortunate subject had for lunch, is beyond me. Somewhat casts a shadow on their perspicacity as well as their hygine. Perhaps they imagine that's where the brain is. We can only wonder where their heads are, if you follow my scatological drift.
Posted Stardate 15-622.5
by Blop-Fissell
Greetings, Earth-things. I return back for another more posting
Flip-Fissell, my brother older also, told-wrote about my space ship building whereto visit Earth doubting its workingness. But never he also made a ship about travel between space to planets, so I become unsure as I am.
I exist curious for seeing Rushmore Mountains shaped like Earth-thing heads. Your geology demand act strange making such unatural thing of nature. I sometimes noticed also seen on Blivee outrocks whichfor resemble famous Bliveens, but something vaguely. Blivee owns no mountains looking as heads or heroes faces. Closest nearly as alike known by Nose Hill viewed to likeness for nose, but singly one nostril cave without in springtime water runs. Ha ha, a runny nose joke thing you rate it, I supposedly think.
Posted Stardate 15-622.6
BY MADDASSAHADDER THE TERRIFYING OF MU
HA! MORE RUNNING NOSE BLIVEEN PROPAGANDA! PURE DRIVEL! NOSE DRIVEL, TOO! HA! ON OUR SUPREME PLANET OF MU WE WILL HAVE THREE NOSTRILS! OUR SCIENTISTS ARE WORKING ON IT EVEN NOW! WE INVENTED NOSTRILS! BE AFRAID, BLIVEEN FOOLS!
LONG LIVE MU!
Posted Stardate 15-622.7
by Flip-Fissell
There he goes again. Muons certainly appear obsessed with bodily orifices. Nostrils and sphincters, what a planet. One just shakes the old noggin and files it away in the basement of the brain under 'things not to ponder'.
That Maddassahadder certainly is something of a live cannon or a loose wire, or however you Earthers put it. I wonder if everyone on Mu talks that way. Certainly wouldn't make the supreme planet of Mu a very enticing spot for a nice relaxing vacation getaway, would it? Hoteliers, waitresses and cabana boys scooting about resorts barking orders would tend to frazzle the least sensitive nerves of vacationers whose designs were to soothe same.
While such over-the-top verbosity might excite the manyheaded in a campaign of intergalactic conquest, I submit it's anathema to the sunbathing, book-reading, wooded-copse-strolling masses on holiday. I tend to the opinion that rest and relaxation shouldn't be too stimulating. Or loud.
"CARE FOR A BISCUIT AND A CUP OF TEA, HA?" The effect of a spa run by the Prussian army. "YOU WILL TAKE AN ENEMA AND LIKE IT! HA!" One imagines a boy's summer camp run by devotees of the Marquis de Sade -- which, I believe, is often the case.
Summer camp. Where human offspring are packed up and shoved into hardscrabble wooden hovels located, by the usual fashion, in the nearest convenient bog. The main sports at such consist of chucking stones at unsuspecting wildlife, telling hackle-raising tales of dubious veracity, sneaking cigarettes in thickets, and making camplife a veritable woodlands hell on earth for the runt of the litter. One is hard pressed to imagine a less appealing prospect than a cabin packed to the gills with separation anxiety-ridden preadolesents on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The keepers being pimple-headed teenage feinds in human form whose preparation for their stewardship role consists of teasing cats and seperating flies from their wings.
"WELCOME TO GULAG MINNAWINNAHAHA! ORIENTATION AT 2:00, PROBES AT 2:30, HA!"
Posted Stardate 15-622.8
by Blop-Fissell
Greetings, Earth-things. I am returned again too.
My brother is laughing maker against Mu poster existing here. Even not all understanding I smile to funning him. I have wishing a video blog for seeing facial look making him ass by butt for some joke. Ass and butt, ha ha, I guess so.
I wonder to my brain do Muons have faces for expressions existing on. I have seen one never where I know so or maybe otherwise. But having three nostrils to be funny thing seeing anyway. Is joking thought needing third nostril as needing hole for my head. Earth-thing saying same as which I think so.
I have looked Earth-things faces of heads from blogs appearing in likeness to us also vice-versa returning. Except Earth-things lack polka-spots we own commonly also manyfull over facial coverage. Some day after future I willso post picture showing polka-spotted way on Bliveen faces.
Posted Stardate 15-622.9
BY MADDASSAHADDER THE TERRIFYING OF MU
BLIVEEN SPOTTED BABOONS! REPULSIVE! HIDEOUS! INFERIOR MONGREL FUR HEADS! SUPERIOR BEINGS LIKE MUONS ARE PURE GREEN! GREEN, PURELY PURE THROUGH AND THOUGH! HA!
Posted Stardate 15-622.10
by Flip-Fissell
Ah yes, purely pure greeny green is the color of choice of the benighted overlords of Mu. Like a master race of leafy vegetables perhaps. How this kale-colored ranting lunatic has insinuated himself into our freindly little blog baffles your humble correspondant. Reading his ravings one wouldn't suppose he could muster the gray cells to get his legs into his pantholes let alone blog, though I might overestimate the wit it takes for that.
Maybe it's just me, but there's something about your customary blog format I find a bit discombobbulating, if discombobbulating is the right descriptor. It's the upside-down, backwards sort-of arrangement of things that creates a kind of call and response cognitive disconnect. I mean, the Jeopardy!-like way you get the reply before the item replied to coming from having newer posts over older posts. Maybe getting the puch-line before the set-up, telling a story backwards or saying goodbye when entering a room is par for the course on Earth, Bizarro World, or the supreme planet of Mu, but it seems bass-awkward to me.
I'm sure that Merlin, that Earther magician fellow from the days of Camelot, round tables, stones skewered by swords and whatnot, could make sense of it all living in his reverse-wise way through time. While living life backwards might be a positive boon for advising the odd heroic knight in dragon slaying, saving distressed damsels and generally combatting evil forces unleashed by the less noble thinking members of the sorcerers guild, it certainly doesn't lend itself to comprehension in the narrative form.
Posted Stardate 15-622.11
BY MADDASSAHADDER THE TERRIFYING OF MU
FEEBLE MINDED BLIVEEN, YOU IMAGINE WE ARE AMUSED BY YOUR POINTLESS DRIVELING? HA! DO YOU THINK WE CANNOT SEE THROUGH YOUR NATTERING? OUR POWERS OF UNDERSTANDING ARE BEYOND COMPREHENSION! YOU ARE AN OPEN BOOK TO BE READ BETWEEN THE LINES!
YOU DON'T KNOW US! WE HAVE POWERS YOU CANNOT IMAGINE! INSIGHTS BEYOND REASON! OUR MIGHT IS AWESOME AND FEARSOMELY SUPREME! WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU NOT TALK! YOU ARE WARNED! TREAD ON US AT YOUR PERIL, HA! AND AGAIN I SAY, HA!!!
Posted Stardate 15-622.12
by Blop-Fissell
Greatings, Earth-things once more again.
Mr. Maddassahadder seems scariful intentions versus us. It exists good how far between our planets exist apart. Earther advice for him says take a pill. Which makes humor of his loudly threatening writings, I am sure thinking.
I ask other planet beings also write-post to blog here, too. Opinions of ideas being most welcomed, please.
Posted Stardate 15-622.13
ߤ ¤¤§¤¤Ø /¤¤Ø
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Posted Stardate 15-622.14
by Flip-Fissell
Where's that universal translator when you really need it? This ¤¤§¤¤Ø /¤¤Ø fellow, if he is a he, must be writing on a Commidore laptop, assuming he (it) has a lap.
Posted Stardate 15-622.15
ße EeleeØ /eeØ
¿e ße t#e ØeeØle ?re/ Ølenet Eenee. ¿e ¿es# te tel@ ¿et# t#e ØeeØle e? et#er Ølenets, ßet ¿e =e net en=ersten= +eer sØellen¶s. Øleese #elØ es trenslete t#e /eenen¶s.
Posted Stardate 15-622.16
by Flip-Fissell
Looks like the old universal translator still has a few kinks to iron out. It renders a few of the letters while leaving others in an unintelligible jumble, rather like a game of intergalactic Wheel of Fortune, so I can't suss out the meaning at this point. Where's Vanna White when you need her, provided there really is a need for Vanna White. All she does is sashay around the puzzle touching lit up boxes. Great work if you can get it, a sinecure for the ages. I have no grudge against the woman, who appears to have aged quite gracefully, but couldn't some intern flipping toggles offstage handle that highly technical task?
I have become aware that a sizeable section of the great unwashed on Earth believe aliens live amongst them. Considering the considerable distances involved, the logistics of such a visit defy the imagination. It's not like you can bubble wrap some housewares, personal effects and sentimental curious, plunk them in a cardboard box, ring Mayflower Movers and command the driver, "Earth, my good man, and watch you don't bruise the stemware." -- the mileage charges would be astronomical.
Not only would it require some high-tech gadgetry of the intergalactic variety, but also the stern constitution of your more intrepid adventurer types. I'm not talking bravery, but the ability to combat the sheer boredom of travelling light-years cooped up in a flying saucer like so many insomniac sardines in a can. Sure, you might be occasionally agog passing by the odd nebula or red giant, but at warp speed it'd be like trying to spot a bullet fired past the front door peephole. The most peeled of peeled eyes would have trouble making it out. You can only watch so many in-flight movies and distract the restless with parcheesi tournaments before the ennui renders one positively catatonic.
Trust me, no Bliveen has ever set foot, or any other body part, on Earth. I'm sure no blowhard from Mu has either, no matter how terrifying or otherwise unnerving.
Posted Stardate 15-622.17
BY MADDASSAHADDER THE TERRIFYING OF MU
WE WILL NOT SUFFER ANY MORE THESE UNTRUTHFUL LIES! THE GREAT PLANET MU IS WITHOUT PARALLEL IN SPACE TRAVEL! HA! WE INVENTED FLYING SAUCERS, CROP CIRCLES AND AREA 51! HA! ANY MORE OF YOUR OFFENSIVE INSULTS WILL INCUR OUR DREADFUL WRATH!! BE AFRAID WITH ALARM IF YOU PERSIST IN BELITTLING THE GREAT NAME OF MU!!!
Posted Stardate 15-622.18
be Eeleep Meep
We be the peeple frem plenet Eenee. We wesh te telk weth the peeple ef ether plenets, bet we de net enderstend yeer spellengs. Pleese help es trenslete the meenengs.
Posted Stardate 15-622.19
by Flip-Fissell
The scales have fallen from the old peepers, as it were. I begin to see the problem with the universal translator and the source of this Mr. Meep's confusion. Seems to be rather a shortage of vowels on planet Eenee, to wit, nothing but E. No A, I, O, U, or even sometimes the variable Y.
Rather reminds one of a similar shortage of lower case letters on planet Mu. As well as Mu's apparent shortage of gray matter so often betrayed by the over the top claptrap of this Maddassahadder fellow.
Posted Stardate 15-622.20
BY MADDASSAHADDER THE TERRIFYING OF MU
MORE INSULTS AND OFFENSE AGAINST MU! THE GREAT PLANET MU CANNOT TOLERATE SUCH SLANDERS! YOU ARE WARNED THIS WILL FORCE US TO TAKE SEVERE ACTION WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. BE ALARMED WITH FEARFULNESS! THIS IS YOUR FINAL NOTICE AND LAST WARNING!!!
Posted Stardate 15-622.21
by Flip-Fissell
Final notice AND last warning. I'll wait for the conclusive caution and ultimate ultimatum. So, take your best shot, greeny guy. If you think your ranting renders a feeling of having my spinal column replaced with gelatine then... Yikes! What's that big glow? Looks like a
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