2022 January-June

Ah-h-h-h, Summer

Summer is here. And there. And all around the town, as the song doesn’t go. And now, though you didn’t ask for it, a brief history of summer. The word summer comes from the last Germanic Goddess, Elke Summer in about 1810 or so. (Mother of Otto of Ulm, was the father of the car, the Ottomobile.) Elke translates to hot and Summer translates to something like Gol-darnit, so Elke Summer is hot damn! Before Elke (BE) there was no summer and spring ran right into fall, much to the consternation of early Americans as it shortened baseball season dramatically.

After summer was invented the Earth slowly warmed and, instead of enjoying the warm glow of it all like sensible people, psuedo-scientists and their followers got all in a dither about it and concocted all manner of cockeyed schemes to make it go away. King Canute could have told them it was a fool’s errand to try to stop the tides or the weather, but some folks never learn from history. Probably because they’re ignorant of history.

No then, the Sumers of ancient Sumeria… forget it, it’s summer. Relax. You’ll feel better.

Filed 6/21/22

Talking Heads

AKA Wokum-Hokum Day

Filed 6/20/22

Stranger than True

Top Ten Heros of Science Fiction of It’s the Current Year

1. H.G. Wells
2. Jules Verne
3. Trofim Lysenko
4. Al Gore
5. Isaac Asimov
6. Bill Nye
7. Ray Bradbury
8. Rachel Carson
9. Ansel Keys
10. Michael Mann
11. Anthony Fouci
12. Albert Einstein

Yep, that’s more than ten. Why, it must be a scientificky paradox of the Xth dimension.

Filed 6/13/22

Go Go Go Go Go Joe

Hover to open book

Filed 6/7/22

Kurmudgeon Kat

Ahh, Modernity

Filed 6/6/22

A Four Day Late New His Story of June

June is named for Juno, the Roman Goddess of teachers and graduation ceremonies celebrated by letting the monkeys out. Juno is usually depicted wearing a white belt, white shoes, a long toga, or gown, with a tasseled flat square on her head. The latter represents a mortarboard, or hod, for her being a Mason, or cementhead in the vernacular. The tassel dangling from the mortarboard stands for remembering or something, I don’t rightly recall. Anyway, the association with this square topper with knowing is where the expression, “Off the top of my head” comes from.

June is also the month when summer starts. The word summer, related to simmer, means, “God, it’s hot.” Though in Roman times it was, “Goddess, it’s hot.” Juno herelf was not hot, but rather more like a neat and tidy old maid schoolmarm from the Greek island of Lesbos, where grooming in schools was practically a cult.

Filed 6/4/22

Friday Doodling Around

Filed 6/3/22

Weary the Cynical Dog

Welcome to Amiracle

Filed 5/27/22

Talking Heads

Humpday He-He-Huh?

Filed 5/25/22

Quickies

Oops!

Filed 5/16/22

Quickies

Ta-tum Tum

Filed 5/12/22

Doodle Time

It’s a Wobbly World this Monday

Filed 5/9/22

Quickies

Sir, Ha Ha, Sir

Filed 5/5/22

Talking Heads

Humpday Ho Ho

Filed 5/4/22

Quickies

Mise Un Scène

Filed 5/3/22

Three Cheers!!!

Filed 5/2/22

Quickies

Pittum-tum

Filed 4/29/22

Talking Heads

Thursday Funnies

Filed 4/28/22

Kurmudgeon Kat

Das Krapital

Filed 4/25/22

Go Guff from Gauche Joe

Hover to open book

Filed 4/22/22

Kurmudgeon Kat

Talkin’ Bout My G-G-G-Generation

Filed 4/20/22

Talking Heads

Monday Funnies

Filed 4/18/22

In honor of the Late, Great, Henry Boltinoff

Once more, Spot the Six Different Differences

“I don’t get it. How about, ‘A difference that makes no difference
is no Difference’?”

Mouseover for answers

Filed 4/16/22

In honor of the Late, Great, Henry Boltinoff

Spot the Six More Differences from Yesterday’s and Wednesday’s Toons

“I don’t get it. How about, ‘Much more now than before’?”

Mouseover for answers

Filed 4/15/22

In honor of the Late, Great, Henry Boltinoff

Spot the Six Differences from Yesterday’s Toon with this Version as Originally Done

“It’s absolutely meaningless yet patriotic at the same time.
I love it.”

Mouseover for answers

Filed 4/14/22

Gag Cartoonery

“You can’t say that nowadays, it’s positively un-American.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 4/13/22

Thinking off the Rock

Live and Learn

Filed 4/12/22

Weary the Cynical Dog

Left Behinds

Filed 4/9/22

April Fool, all Month Long

Hover to open book

Filed 4/8/22

Talking Heads

Humpday Heh Heh Heh

Filed 4/6/22

Gag Cartoonery

“Permission to treat Mr. Minsky as a hostile witness.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 4/5/22

Thinking off the Rock

Giving It 110%

Filed 4/4/22

April Fools Day Just Keeps Going and Going and Going…

1. Dupe
2. Dope
3. Doped Dupe
4. Unfunny Stooge
5. Useful Fool
6. Covidiot
7. Neo Zombie
8. Woking Dead
9. Eloi

1. Genetically Modified Organism
2. Guinea Pig
3. Kiwi Sheep
4. Pharma Profit Center
5. Double Blind Study
6. Collateral Damage
7. Dead Man Waking
8. Shot Victim

Filed 4/1/22

Gag Cartoonery

“Just once couldn’t I do a crossword or something instead?”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 3/28/22

It’s Saturday and We All Know What That Means

It means yesterday was Friday. It means if all goes according to plan, tomorrow is Sunday. If things aft agley, as the poet Burns put it, tomorrow will be Monday and we’ll be back at work again having missed our well-deserved, or not, day of rest. If things go catastrophically bad it will be Doomsday. And we all know what that means. No more terrycolon.com. Oh No-o-o-o-o!

Filed 3/26/22

Talking Heads

Must be Those Cold Winters

Filed 3/24/22

Kurmudgeon Kat

Sign of The Times

Filed 3/22/22

Thinking off the Rock

English, What a Language

Filed 3/16/22

Kurmudgeon Kat

Sign of the Time(s)

Filed 3/14/22

Gag Cartoonery

“I see big changes for you in the spring.”

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 3/11/22

Same Old Same Joe

Hover to open book

Filed 3/9/22

Talking Heads

So They Promised

Filed 3/8/22

Thinking off the Rock

Hey! What’s the Meaning of This?!

Hover for joke part two

Filed 3/7/22

Gag Cartoonery

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 3/4/22

Bucks Yucks

Top 10 Funny Money ($US)

1. Simply Red cent
2. John Wooden nickel
3. Stoponna dime
4. Latin quarter
5. Hiyo Silver dollar
6. Rip Torn dollar bill
7. Desmond Tutu dollar bill
8. High Five dollar bill
9. Rin-Tin-Ten dollar bill
10. Funniest of all: Harriet Tubman 20 dollar bill

Filed 3/3/22

Gag Cartoonery

Filed in Gag Cartoonery 2/18/22

Quick Quips from P.J. O’Rourke In Honor of P.J. O’Rourke (R.I.P.)

And now a few sarcastic words from my favorite curmudgeon not named H.L. Mencken.

“When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.”

“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn… The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.”

“If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat — in other words, turn you into an adult.”

“The question is not how does government work, but how to make it stop.”

All courtesy of the poison pen of P.J. O’Rourke. Though he probably writes on a computer.

First filed 11/16/12

More That Was the Blog that Wasn’t

As I wrote yesterday…

Before aborting the biggish reworking of the old site, I entertained many possible names for the non-feature throwaway content, formerly called a blog, before settling on The Daily Dump. Not the most original title, perhaps, but if the shoe fits and all that…

And so on.

And now…

Top Twenty-one through Forty (if that’s a thing) Free Website and/or Blog Names Nobody Asked for

• Flabbergast Bag –Don’t Miss the Bloat
• Duh News –Where Information Goes to Die
• Rubber Bazooka –Watch Out for the Backwash
• Wee Wee Wee –The All-the-Way Home of This Little Piggy
• Great Googly Moogly –Egads, There’s Another One!
• Weakened Addition –Where the Web Is Planed Down to Nothing
• First Ditch Effort –Get Out of Your Rut and Into the Groove
• Curiouser Cats –Enticing World Wide Web Readers Since 2006
• Leapers and Bounders –A Shark Jumping Blog
• On a Scroll –Short Blog for Long People
• Snark Hunting Digest –Putting the Cat Into the Bag
• Infinity Minus Two –One Step Closer to Approximate Zero
• Arrgh McMuffin Blog –Positively Gluten Free and Absolutely No MSG
• Infinite Nothing –To the nth Degree and Back Again
• Doublethink Again –The Journal of Third Rate Second Thoughts
• Spongebag Trouserings –Fits Like a Glove Blog
• Flinging Monkey –The Website More Like It Is Now Than Ever Before
• Mysterious White Powder –The Blog from Here to There
• Yellow Press Pass –F for Fun, plus Log for blog, it’s a Flog
• Steaming Pile –The Other Thing You Had Coming

Filed 2/15/22

That Was the Blog that Wasn’t

Before aborting the biggish reworking of the old site, I entertained many possible names for the non-feature throwaway content, formerly called a blog, before settling on The Daily Dump. Not the most original title, perhaps, but if the shoe fits and all that. Anyway, I opted to use it notwithstanding. Still, with any luck my Daily Dump will be one of the 50 best web-things named Daily Dump you’ll find, if you were inclined to look for web-things named Daily Dump.

This means I have a whole smattering, or maybe part of a smattering since I don’t know how many are in a full smattering, of unused titles and subtitles which I have absolutely no need of. These I offer free of charge to the public at large, or rather the public at their computers reading this, which is not a very large public, but never mind. Without further ado…

Top Twenty Free Website and/or Blog Names (with free free subheads) Nobody Asked for

• Wascally Wabbits –Join the Webolution
• Doublethink Tank –Web Home of Circular Reasoning Squared
• Furious Green Sleep –The Blog Where Nothing Always Happens
• Notes from the Underwear –Non-News in Brief
• Faux Fake News –Endless Impossibilities Blog
• Twice as Half as Much –The Blog with Less of the Same
• Wisp of Weasels –More Fun than a Barrel of Monkeys, Without the Smell
• Anthill Bluster –Where Nits Are Picked While They’re Still Fresh
• Mess Media –Erasing the Fine Line between Fact and Fiction
• Smoldering Embarrassment Blog –Going off Half Cocked and Half Baked
• Unloading Zone –How To Talk Shirty and Influence People
• Mouse Utopia Blog –Where the Future Unwinds and Comes Unwound
• Missing Inaction –Global Headquarters of Nothing Doing
• Beyond Absolute –The Interweb Home of Infinite Density and Then Some
• Antiseptic Badinage –Where Anything Goes and Nothing Matters
• Nigh Times –Where Yesterday Meets Tomorrow
• Cognitive Dissident –The Less Is More of the Same Blog
• Funday Sunnies –Weekend Reading for the Illiterate at Ease
• Tasty Toner Warning –Please Don’t Eat the Website
• Weak Worldly News –Putting the Blah in Blog

Filed 2/14/22

You Know You’re Old when…

• A trip to Barbados is not your idea of an adventure… a trip to the bathroom is.
• The terms, rectifier, vertical hold, dial, and snow make you think, ‘television’… and not, ‘Huh?’
• Every new person you meet reminds you of someone you used to know… who might now be dead, you don’t remember.
• You lost your hairbrush five years ago… and still haven’t realized it.
• The people who wrote the music you listen to (on “the hifi”) are all dead… and nothing after 1970 should be called an oldie.
• Your favorite descriptors are comfortable, practical, and affordable… and never “new and improved.”
• Everything you see, hear, and read seems vaguely familiar… and never “new and improved.”

Filed 1/17/22

Talking Heads

Or So They Tell Me

Filed 1/11/22

Family Friendly Funnies

Does Dr Kimble Know about This?

Filed 1/10/22

Kurmudgeon Kat

Kurmudgeonly Kommentary on Our Kommissars

Filed 1/7/22

That Was the Year that Wasn’t

Bullsheet Edition:

Top Nine Things that Could Have But Didn’t Happen in 2021

1. Newest surprise for NASA scientists – space probe indicates Mars tests positive for Covid
2. Only 30 hospitalized in BLM mostly peaceful celebration of Nobel peace prize
3. NYT columnist claims spontaneous chanting at sports events shows Joe “Let’s Go” Biden is most popular president ever
4. Girls catching up to boys in sports – “This is what sex change looks like,” said former male Olympian Caitlyn Jenner
5. Climate continues multi-million year record of change despite thousands of idle windmills
6. US Congress announces new government programs to help people put out of work by previous new government programs
7. Conversationalists chagrined to find listeners mistake gag line, “Is the Pope Catholic?” for serious question
8. Democrat controlled Congress passes hate vote law – Democrats sweep mid-terms with 99% of hate-free votes
9. FIFA reassigns French national team to African confederation – Team members look forward to playing road games closer to home

Filed 1/3/22